In my Theories of Leadership class this quarter, we learned a lot of techniques to become leaders, but the main objective of the course remained to find your own leadership style, because that’s the one that would work best for you.
I have to wonder if that’s right, though. Because as I look back at the recent US Presidential election, there are clear patterns of which leadership styles worked for women and which didn’t. The goal of this article is to show women how they can become leaders in male-dominated environments, using examples from the US Presidential election.
Let’s start with Hillary Clinton. Why exactly did she lose the democratic nomination to Obama? The burning question on my mind: was it because she was a woman?
Jaclyn Schiff of The Schiff Report, who lives and works at the heart of it all in Washington DC, says, “From talking to people who worked for the campaign and volunteered for it, I got the sense that people at the top were disagreeing a lot, which detracted from the campaign’s overall message. Obama’s message also seemed to resonate better with people.”
Andrea Zak, of SchizoFrenetic, agrees. “Clinton went into the primaries EXPECTING to be the nominee.” She adds, “Clinton would have made an excellent president, but Obama ran a superior campaign.”
It is clear that Hillary Clinton made some obvious mistakes in her campaign for the Presidency. First, she was over-confident, and second, she either didn’t have the right message or did not convey her message clearly to the country, the voters.
Then again, one of the points stressed over and over again about leadership is that a leader must embody the traits of the group of followers she is trying to lead. When asked how women associated with the election were portrayed in the media, Jen Williamson of Catalyst Blogger insists, “There is absolutely a double standard. While Hillary Clinton got emotional, it was a big sign of weakness – she was a weak, weepy woman. When Joe Biden got choked up during the Vice Presidential debates, it was a sign of his humanity and the highlight of his performance. It goes the other way too – when Hillary gets forceful, she’s strident and bitchy. When male candidates get forceful, they’re tough and assertive.”
Milena Thomas of Quiet the Thunder disagrees. “I have a hard time deciding if [women] are portrayed differently. I’d like to say ‘women are not taken seriously.’ But then my mind goes to all the comedy pieces on Bush, McCain, Obama too… I don’t think any leader is safe from public scrutiny.”
Thomas does, however, point out, “It is tough for women to come across as strong as men. Their voices are higher pitched, their features are softer, their mannerisms are not firm; and if they are, people are turned off because it’s not feminine. Apparently you can’t win.”
And Hillary didn’t win, in my opinion partly because she couldn’t embody what America wanted. Whether that was the message of hope that Obama brought, or if it was as simple as the US needing a seemingly stronger and more masculine leader to get us through this trying time – I still can’t decide. What is clear, however, is that aspiring women leaders must be careful to walk a very thin line, not appearing too masculine or too feminine – the hybrid alpha girl, so to speak.
The hybrid alpha girl to some extent could be found in United States VP candidate Sarah Palin. She came across to me as tough – working woman with a stay-at-home-husband, strong convictions – yet she still had her share of Jessica Simpson moments that quickly propelled her to celebrity stature rather than that of a serious political candidate.
For me, Palin was someone I wanted to be friends with, someone I would recruit for my college sorority, instead of someone I would ever look up to and entrust with running a country. I liked her, but not for her stance on issues, just for eye candy on the GOP ticket. Monica Evans of Life in the Middle Lane shared similar sentiments. “Sarah is a very attractive woman, and I think that gives her points. Whenever someone asks me what I think about Sarah, I always say she is super pretty.” Let’s be honest though – when you are running for Vice-President of the United States, the last thing you want to be known for is being “super pretty.”
While Palin appeared to appeal to many intelligent women on some level, most still didn’t want to vote for her because she didn’t appeal to them as a vice-presidential candidate. The moral of the story is “celebrity” is too often confused with leadership, and I believe that is why Sarah Palin was so unpopular throughout the campaign. My instinct is that too much celebrity is much more detrimental to women than men, because of how female celebrities who “act out” are portrayed in the media. Few of the techniques women use to get ahead socially translate well for women trying to become leaders.
Given the profiles of both Clinton and Palin, one begs the question – what kind of woman leader does America want? The answer is Michelle Obama.
In my observation, Clinton had difficulty relating to stay-at-home-moms, while Palin had difficulty relating to young, single, working women; but somehow, Michelle Obama seems to appeal to both, as demonstrated by the positive response I received from the Gen Y women I interviewed.
Evans explains “I love Michelle. Actually, I love Michelle more than Obama. There are probably little black girls (like me) who are stoked that we have another black woman (other than Condi, who I also admire) on the main stage.” She adds, “I think her causes would be more in line with my own causes (just based on her background and other volunteer work). I’m excited to see what she would do with her First Lady platform.”
Thomas says, “I think women like her, they think she is fashionable and shows personal strength. I think women think of her as a role model.”
Zak adds another layer. “That she’s a well-spoken and well-educated woman connects with other women voters and has allowed her to campaign on behalf of her husband. [Barack Obama] and Michelle are also going to be great role models for a healthy marriage. Their open displays of affection are so different than what we’re used to seeing from political couples. They look like they’re in love and that they’re a team raising their children… it’s refreshing to see a couple that highlights the best of contemporary marriage.”
Zak hits on a huge point – that a leader’s personal life is just as important to her followers as her professional life. In this case, Americans are striving for contemporary marriages; so if you want to be a female leader in America you can start by becoming the contemporary wife, currently being defined by Michelle Obama.
All of this news is great for Michelle Obama, but what does that mean for future females vying for the US presidency? After all, Michelle Obama was never a candidate, just a candidate’s wife who now has the opportunity to influence the country.
Zak appears to see the current President Elect as a good sign for women. She explains, “African-American men got the right to vote before (white) women… If you’re looking at the trajectory of history, it seems to follow that Americans would be comfortable with an African-American man as President before a woman.”
Schiff takes a different approach. She says of Clinton and Palin, “Since we’ve had two women very publicly vying for the highest political office in the land over the last few months, it gets people more comfortable with the idea of having women in these roles… their candidacy has still contributed to an important ongoing discussion about gender roles and leadership.”
Williamson agrees with Schiff, but adds, “The fact that race and gender are even issues worth mentioning reveals that America is still a deeply racist and sexist place. When race and gender are like hair color and eye color – personal accents that have nothing to do with a candidate’s ability to lead the country, rarely brought up in coverage and commentary because they are so laughably irrelevant – then I think we’ll have gotten somewhere.”
Below is a summary of the leadership lessons I’ve drawn from the US Presidential election. I’m curious though: What do YOU think? Leave a comment to share your opinion!
IN SUMMARY
Leadership Lessons for Everyone:
- Always operate as the underdog, even when you are ahead
- Have a clear message
- Have a message that resonates with the people you are trying to lead
- Embody the traits of the people you are trying to lead
- Develop a tough skin and learn to accept/ignore criticism
- Be personable – show your followers you are human
Leadership Lessons Specifically for Women:
- Toe the fine line between aggressiveness and femininity
- Avoid becoming too much of a celebrity if leadership is your ultimate goal
- Dress well
- Be intelligent and career-driven AND a good mom AND a supportive wife
- Partner with a man if necessary (it pains me to put this on the list, but it’s still a reasonable conclusion to draw)
Today I’ve explained why I think these lessons are essential for aspiring female leaders, but if there’s interest, I can write more about how to start applying these lessons in the future.
Special thanks to the Gen Y thought leaders who contributed to this article – if you enjoy this blog you will enjoy theirs as well:
- Jaclyn Schiff, The Schiff Report
- Andrea Zak, SchizoFrenetic
- Milena Thomas, Quiet the Thunder
- Jen Williamson, Catalyst Blogger
- Monica Evans, Life in the Middle Lane
Monica O'Brien is the Director of Digital at Fizz and author of the book Social Pollination, which helps businesses leverage social media for crazy growth!
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Monica,
I usually really like your writing. You’re on my Google Reader, and I often read through your posts.
But this post read more like a research paper than a blog. There’s different stylistic standards for blogs, in my opinion. You wrote on a good topic and had plenty of good quotes. But I felt like I was a professor for a Leadership class.
Regardless, you had good points, especially regarding the difference between a woman showing emotion and a man showing emotion.
The reason why I loved Hilary (and probably why others hated her) was because she was clear about putting her job as president FIRST. The whole idea of a female president being a good mom and wife (while never expected of male presidents) is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. Do we really think that after meeting with foreign leaders, discussing pressing issues, and doing boring things like strengthening our economy, she’ll run home and make some chicken?
And why should she? The presence of women does not mean that things have changed if the expectations of leadership are still so unrealistic.
“what kind of woman leader does America want? The answer is Michelle Obama.”
This is so true, whether one is running for the presidency or the PTA. I think deep down we all still expect women to do everything: be a great mom, a loving partner, a savvy businesswoman. Basically beauty, brains, and brawn.
This is an excellent post, and I’m so stealing your leadership tip sheet. I think they are all things that leaders need to remember and live by. Whether we want to or not, we are judged just as much on how we look as we are on what we think!
I do have some beef about your suggestion that a woman needs to partner with a man. Hillary is an example of how this can backfire…of course she can thank Bill for bringing her to the spotlight, but in the end I think he was a millstone around her neck. Furthermore, if your suggestion is correct, what happens to all the single female leaders, OR lesbians who are smart, savvy and leadership-worthy but are lacking in the male partner department? That leaves me out in the cold…..
But I guess, Americans are used to seeing male/female packages which is why gay people tend to find an opposite sex “partner” to make them look good in public…
Sorry, I started thinking….and I got longwinded
I did not in any way mean to imply you need to be a contemporary, professional wife to be a good politician. As an individual ,Michelle Obama pops because she’s super articulate and has great presence and compassion.
I think the Obama’s relationship to eachother is attractive to other people; you can’t buy that chemistry in a bottle. Their attraction to eachother is attractive to other people.
Frankly, a charismatic singlewoman should be able to succeed on her own. Though some of the surveying by Pew doesn’t seem to bear that notion out.
Interesting points Monica. I’m not sure that Hillary was over-confident – she was certainly confident which resonated with me more than Palin’s arrogance (confidence without any centre or foundation), but I think her mistake was to assume she was the favourite.
This goes to your point of ‘Always operate as the underdog’, although I’m not sure that’s entirely true. Sure, people love the underdog as there’s somethign really engaging about someone battling against the odds, but I think this is more about remembering to be humble and not taking things for granted. With humility and gratitude you’re instantly more likable, and whatever you’re working to achieve will be flavoured accordingly.
The real key to leadership is an authentic confidence. The kind of confidence that allows you that humility and gratitude as well as grace and honesty. I certainly know that the leaders I look up to and respect are the ones who allow themselves to go into the unknown even if it means being vulnerable.
Anna, I will probably write a follow up post at some point to talk more about women and leadership, that isn’t so book-reporty. Thanks for being a loyal reader of this blog!
Allison, I agree – I just don’t think America is ready for a woman leader who will put her job as a leader before her family. Not yet anyway. That’s why I believe people like Michelle Obama so much – because she puts her family first, because she can still. If Michelle had been running for President, I doubt she’d have been any more popular than Hillary Clinton.
Monica, you bring up great points. I don’t think it’s right that women still need to partner with men, but I do think it’s true. I try to picture Hillary Clinton running with another female as VP… it would just never have happened. So I guess my point is that the US is still not ready for all-female leadership, at least not in politics.
Zak, I do think certain women can succeed as leaders on their own… just maybe not at the presidency. Not yet anyway, but I’m hopeful for the future.
Steve, you’re right. It’s not about being the underdog, it’s more about not getting overly confident.
Thanks for the comments!
Monica: I’m writing this as a developmental consultant with expertise in performance improvement, language technologies, org behavior, etc. I’m also the father of three highly successful professional women, each holding grad degrees. And as a coach, I’ve coached about 50 exec women in one-on-one year long sessions over the past 25 years. Fascinatingly, I donated time to mentor 5 Millennial women professionals for the past two years.
My conclusions are that it’s not going to be easy to find your leadership style–and that furthermore, executive women all have some similar and shared characteristics. They are results oriented, tough (and I mean tough and demanding), no-nonsense, they make sure they have the support and feedback of a few significant male colleagues or bosses, maintain a strategic orientation to business, and don’t get caught up in detail, and on-occasion, get very pushy. They don’t think of themselves as executive women, instead they see themselves as executives who just happen to be women. They are very careful not to be too feminine looking or acting, but dress neatly, attractively, and sometimes elegantly. You have to be pretty aware to recognize that that suit she’s wearing, that seems rather simple, shows tailoring that cost $1500 or more. Or course, since my daughters educated me I can quickly tell from shoes and purse–or a belt if they happen to be wearing one.
They all have intelligence networks internally and externally to their organization, and it’s rare for them to put up with a lot of s–t. They refuse to exercise female processes to get their way, and they take up plenty of the table space just like the male execs. They also speak up–and most males expect it or get used to it. And if you’re in a company where the males refuse to accept it, if I were young, I’d get out and let someone else educate resistant males–that’s not a rewarding task.
Now, putting that into your own language is the difficult part. But I’d get someone to listen to how I talk, ask questions, make demands, and verbalize business matters. You certainly don’t need to mimic male macho. But there’s a reason that a lot of African American women do well in business–they’re used to taking charge, creating expectations and giving orders.
I’m sure that all this sounds a bit different in each woman, but the characteristics of successful business women remain much the same. Oh yeah, they usually have to perform better than their male peers! And I recognize that stinks, but that’s reality–and plenty of them can do it.
There are a few white papers on my site that speak to career strategy and getting useful feedback…and more will come.