Comments on: I May Never Be a Mother. And That's Okay.

By: Carrie

Carrie — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 11:58:57 +0000

Agreed! Or even more frustrating, when you do opt to tell people you don't think you will have children and they give you this sympathetic look and say how you still have time to decide (I'm 27 and wonder how much longer I will get that response).

By: fred

fred — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 07:41:32 +0000

it's ok to be INTP – trust me – you can train yourself to be more ESFJ “wifey/motherly”…but your natural personality will always remain INTP — don't sweat it, it is what it is

don't try to redefine motherhood, or gender roles – you should know that's illogical
children are not animals, they are human beings with mind, body and soul – who need to be nourished and loved

if you're not a physical mother, you can always be a spiritual mother – and somehow
through your INTP talents reach the minds and hearts of kids

By: fred

fred — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 06:41:32 +0000

it's ok to be INTP – trust me – you can train yourself to be more ESFJ “wifey/motherly”…but your natural personality will always remain INTP — don't sweat it, it is what it is

don't try to redefine motherhood, or gender roles – you should know that's illogical
children are not animals, they are human beings with mind, body and soul – who need to be nourished and loved

if you're not a physical mother, you can always be a spiritual mother – and somehow
through your INTP talents reach the minds and hearts of kids

By: Taryn

Taryn — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 01:46:57 +0000

I feel like…most people expect us to have kids…because most people do. Whether on purpose or not. Not because you have to, but if you know a lot of people, very few of them won't eventually go that route. It's expected because it is common and quite natural to reproduce. I really feel like most of the pressure comes from our own expectations of ourselves…are we normal, are we doing things the right way? We take ourselves more seriously at times than those around us. We sit up at night and worry about things nobody is concerned with like we think they are. A person who is afraid to speak in public for instance…do u remember anyone's speech from high school? I don't. But they feel as if it is the end of the world.

Most of the criticism we have is in our own heads, and once we get over that, we will do things for the right reason. I mean, there is nothing wrong with someone not having a kid. I feel like there are many people who maybe never should have. But I also notice that the people who are the most hesitant are often most aware of the things that make for bad parenting and avoid those as parents. A lot of my friends say these thing at times, but I can imagine them being better parents than most.

My personality type is very different than yours (ENFJ) but I like the way we all bring balance to each other. My boyfriend is waaaay different than me. You are who you are for a purpose. And if you are gonna be a mother, I'm sure your personality type will be tailor made for your child. So enjoy yourself, your future…and the new puppy

By: Taryn

Taryn — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 01:46:57 +0000

By: Vicky

Vicky — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 18:23:52 +0000

Kudos to you for having the courage to write something like this. I feel the same way and always felt guilty and bullied by my kid-loving relatives (and society) who think I'm just a little too feminist. My cousin recently had a baby and that's all she talks about. I feel like I have to discuss the baby's pooping habits for about 20 minutes as well because that's what we “should” do as women. Her husband works and glances at the baby from time to time. I don't want this life. I'm sorry if society thinks that is wrong. That is society's problem. I think I'm beginning to accept myself as I really am. However, it is really hard when you are not surrounded by supportive people.

By: Vicky

Vicky — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 18:23:52 +0000

By: Monica O'Brien

Monica O'Brien — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:06:24 +0000

Som,

I’m glad my post helped you!

By: Som

Som — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 10:21:27 +0000

I was googling to see if I am kind of a niche personality in terms of my certain choices/preferences. That is when I found this page. Incidentally,I am an INTP. I want to thank you for the relief you offered to me, and now I see that there are indeed people who think my way.

By: Monica O'Brien

Monica O'Brien — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:22:33 +0000

Good to hear from you. Quite a few INTP parents have spoken up, which is great! It makes me feel like I will do okay as a mom, when I’m ready. Thanks!