I remember having the same revelation after living abroad. Not having complete command of a language makes you have to ask for help. It was surprising to me how much people do want to help you and enjoy being useful. Good luck on the job junt!
I find that I (and several women I know) am most reluctant to ask for help when you want to seem strong or self-reliant and I find that the beauty of social media is building a community where it is comfortable to reach out and ask for what you need. With that said, I’m new to twitter but I just signed on to follow you (beingbrina)… any tips greatly appreciated! P.S. I love Forte Foundation too. Those MBA Diaries are addicting! (in a nerdy kinda way).
I think it takes a few rejections to really become comfortable with getting out there and asking for help. When I started interviewing professionals I admired for a podcast in college, for example, I started by emailing random people who I admired. I was surprised by how many were willing to take part, but I got a number of “ignores” and rejections at the same time. Just know that you’ll never get the yes if you never try.Great points, Monica.
That’s true. It’s hard to deal with rejection but I think you have to expect it if you email people out of the blue. I try to pretend I’m a sales person who’s cold calling to generate leads. It feels less personal that way, at least to me.
I have to agree that women sometimes don’t ask for help because they don’t want to appear weak. I wonder if men think of it differently – maybe they don’t feel like they are asking for help at all, thus not showing signs of weakness. Men just seem more confident to me when they ask, like they know they will get a “yes.”
Maybe it’s really because men are so used to get rejected in dating situations, and women aren’t. Heh.
With regards to Twitter, my advice is to follow people you are interested in and just jump right in to their conversations. It’s kind of like a noisy bar where everyone is having their own conversations, but people are always mingling and moving around to different groups, and it’s completely kosher to walk up to a stranger and introduce yourself. The way I use my Twitter account is to talk to my online friends and talk about my day if I have a funny story to share and share links that I like from around the web.
Monica O'Brien is the Director of Digital at Fizz and author of the book Social Pollination, which helps businesses leverage social media for crazy growth!
"Must read for business owners, marketing professionals, or students looking to understand the next monumental shift in marketing and advertising." Patrick Ambron, CMO of Brand Yourself software
Monica O'Brien is the Director of Digital at Fizz and author of the book Social Pollination, which helps businesses leverage social media for crazy growth!
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I remember having the same revelation after living abroad. Not having complete command of a language makes you have to ask for help. It was surprising to me how much people do want to help you and enjoy being useful. Good luck on the job junt!
Yeah, I’ve noticed women suck at asking for what they want — myself included. Why do you think that happens?
I find that I (and several women I know) am most reluctant to ask for help when you want to seem strong or self-reliant and I find that the beauty of social media is building a community where it is comfortable to reach out and ask for what you need. With that said, I’m new to twitter but I just signed on to follow you (beingbrina)… any tips greatly appreciated! P.S. I love Forte Foundation too. Those MBA Diaries are addicting! (in a nerdy kinda way).
I think it takes a few rejections to really become comfortable with getting out there and asking for help. When I started interviewing professionals I admired for a podcast in college, for example, I started by emailing random people who I admired. I was surprised by how many were willing to take part, but I got a number of “ignores” and rejections at the same time. Just know that you’ll never get the yes if you never try.Great points, Monica.
That’s true. It’s hard to deal with rejection but I think you have to expect it if you email people out of the blue. I try to pretend I’m a sales person who’s cold calling to generate leads. It feels less personal that way, at least to me.
Sabrina,
I have to agree that women sometimes don’t ask for help because they don’t want to appear weak. I wonder if men think of it differently – maybe they don’t feel like they are asking for help at all, thus not showing signs of weakness. Men just seem more confident to me when they ask, like they know they will get a “yes.”
Maybe it’s really because men are so used to get rejected in dating situations, and women aren’t. Heh.
With regards to Twitter, my advice is to follow people you are interested in and just jump right in to their conversations. It’s kind of like a noisy bar where everyone is having their own conversations, but people are always mingling and moving around to different groups, and it’s completely kosher to walk up to a stranger and introduce yourself. The way I use my Twitter account is to talk to my online friends and talk about my day if I have a funny story to share and share links that I like from around the web.
Nisha,
Truly no idea – though I’ve read that women are raised to not negotiate and I would consider asking for a favor or for help a form of negotiation.
Vanessa,
Yeah, definitely true. It’s hard to rely on strangers and hard to rely on friends for different reasons. Thanks for the luck on my job hunt
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