Sometimes the number of requests I get to do something surprise me. After all, someone took the time to write me a personalized message asking me to read their blog, tweet a link for them, review their book, or announce their contest. Or, at the least, they copied and pasted a form letter and put my name at the top – hey, that still takes a lot of effort.
What surprises me more sometimes is that these requests actually work.
Someone DM’d (direct messaged) me yesterday on Twitter and asked me to read an article on his blog and write a comment. Though I’d never read his blog before, he seemed like a nice guy, his request was polite and personal, and either way I was already following him on Twitter, so why not cement that connection a little further?
I ended up going to his post and adding a comment, because I actually did have something to say about it. Then I found another one of his posts in his similar posts section, which I loved. I tweeted it immediately, and the post got three retweets from my followers. I also received a few messages from my followers, thanking me for sharing the link with them because it was exactly what they had been looking for.
Then I subscribed to his blog, because two good articles on one site indicates more good articles to come.
He didn’t ask me to do those last two things, but I’m glad I did because I benefited in the end – I got credit on Twitter for sharing information and I found a new source for quality articles.
Here is something maybe not so surprising – aside from the actual PR requests (or blasts) I receive, almost all of the requests I get are from guys. That’s because women are generally worse at negotiating than men, and naturally that trait spills into even trivial tasks like promoting a blog. I myself am guilty of this at times (though at least I do well at negotiating my salary, for the most part).
We all need to start asking more often. And as you can see, there are implicit benefits to respond to someone’s request and giving them exactly what they want. So here are some people who sent me requests lately:
The Forte Foundation
I love what the Forte Foundation does, and I was thrilled to receive this announcement:
An extension of our Career Labs, held on college campuses nationwide, the Career Lab Virtual Campus, provides undergraduates with free access to the secrets and insights that will help them navigate the early stages of their career.
Virtual Campus is broken down into three sections—Career Lab On Demand, Land Your Dream Job and Girl Talk—undergrads can watch videos, listen to podcasts, and ask questions on the Discussion Forum.
Dan Schawbel’s Personal Branding Magazine
As usual, Dan Schawbel has wowed me with another impressive issue of Personal Branding Magazine, which comes out February 1st.
Free sample URL: www.personalbrandingsample.com
Paid subscription URL: www.personalbrandingmag.com
Facebook page: www.facebook.com/pages/Personal-Branding-Magazine/18138629524
MWW Group Contest
This looks like a fun contest – entry is free, easy, and the prizes are pretty substantial.
MWW Group is asking individuals and organizations to provide a 100 word written or spoken (via video) description of a positive change that they hope will happen during Obama’s first 100 days in office. It’s based on the idea that ever since FDR’s administration, every President has been measured by their accomplishments during their first 100 days. Submissions are sent in via the website www.mww.com/change
Gen-Y Hospitality Report
Here’s a cool report about how Gen Y views hospitality. Good read for anyone who studies or writes about Gen Y – plus my friend Greg helped put it together. You can get the report here: Gen Y Hospitality Report.
And… Me
And since I should take my own advice about asking, here are a few requests of my own. If you aren’t already, consider subscribing to my blog (600+ already do) or following me on Twitter (1400+ already do).
Also, the job hunt I started in January is going extremely well and I should have good news within the next few weeks. However, if you have any good leads for positions within the city limits of Chicago (no suburbs) in the areas of social media, technology, marketing, or business, please send me an email, tweet, or leave a comment. Thanks!
Monica O'Brien is the Director of Digital at Fizz and author of the book Social Pollination, which helps businesses leverage social media for crazy growth!
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I remember having the same revelation after living abroad. Not having complete command of a language makes you have to ask for help. It was surprising to me how much people do want to help you and enjoy being useful. Good luck on the job junt!
Yeah, I’ve noticed women suck at asking for what they want — myself included. Why do you think that happens?
I find that I (and several women I know) am most reluctant to ask for help when you want to seem strong or self-reliant and I find that the beauty of social media is building a community where it is comfortable to reach out and ask for what you need. With that said, I’m new to twitter but I just signed on to follow you (beingbrina)… any tips greatly appreciated! P.S. I love Forte Foundation too. Those MBA Diaries are addicting! (in a nerdy kinda way).
I think it takes a few rejections to really become comfortable with getting out there and asking for help. When I started interviewing professionals I admired for a podcast in college, for example, I started by emailing random people who I admired. I was surprised by how many were willing to take part, but I got a number of “ignores” and rejections at the same time. Just know that you’ll never get the yes if you never try.Great points, Monica.
That’s true. It’s hard to deal with rejection but I think you have to expect it if you email people out of the blue. I try to pretend I’m a sales person who’s cold calling to generate leads. It feels less personal that way, at least to me.
Sabrina,
I have to agree that women sometimes don’t ask for help because they don’t want to appear weak. I wonder if men think of it differently – maybe they don’t feel like they are asking for help at all, thus not showing signs of weakness. Men just seem more confident to me when they ask, like they know they will get a “yes.”
Maybe it’s really because men are so used to get rejected in dating situations, and women aren’t. Heh.
With regards to Twitter, my advice is to follow people you are interested in and just jump right in to their conversations. It’s kind of like a noisy bar where everyone is having their own conversations, but people are always mingling and moving around to different groups, and it’s completely kosher to walk up to a stranger and introduce yourself. The way I use my Twitter account is to talk to my online friends and talk about my day if I have a funny story to share and share links that I like from around the web.
Nisha,
Truly no idea – though I’ve read that women are raised to not negotiate and I would consider asking for a favor or for help a form of negotiation.
Vanessa,
Yeah, definitely true. It’s hard to rely on strangers and hard to rely on friends for different reasons. Thanks for the luck on my job hunt