Monica O'Brien is the author of the book Social Pollination: Escape the Hype of Social Media and Join the Companies Winning At It. Social Pollination provides a strategic blueprint that helps businesses leverage social media for crazy growth! For a limited time, purchase Social Pollination and get a free membership to Monica's private coaching forum.

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The Change that Generation Y is Actually Creating

By Monica O'Brien | May 28th in Activism

14 comments

Here’s the thing: people talk a lot about how special Generation Y is. I wonder if we’re getting a little too much undeserved praise.

We say we’re going to change the workplace, but are we really doing anything so far besides benefiting from the situation we’re in?

Generation Y has a huge population, and this has shifted power in the workplace to make companies more adept to giving us what we want in order to retain us. Furthermore, we have our Boomer parents who, for the most part, have paid our way through life, through college, and even beyond as we search for the perfect career opportunities that allow us to collect a fat paycheck while still being able to work flexible hours. We’ve spent our whole lives getting everything we demanded from our parents: a cell phone, a TV, a new car on our 16th birthday; and now we waltz into the workplace and expect the same treatment. Sure, older generations give us what we want; but begrudgingly, because, like everything else in our lives thus far, we did nothing to earn it.

It’s really no wonder that other generations resent us the way they do. We say we’re creating this massive shift in the workplace, but really, most of it has been created for us. Of course, we’re happy to take advantage of it, just as we were happy to show off and brag about our brand new cars to our friends, conveniently forgetting that we didn’t actually earn the money that paid for them.

Here’s how I think we are contributing to the workplace: longer hours. As much as we say we are not willing to sell our time, do any of us work less than 45+ hour weeks? No, because we’re so desperate to stay ahead of the other rich, bright, hard-working, degree-holding overachievers in our generation.

We insist we are too smart to do the crap work. We demand tasks and projects that are meaningful. But who, then, is qualified to do the busy work? An undergraduate degree is practically a prerequisite for getting a decent-paying job these days, and anyone with a college education is too busy and important to waste their time on administrative duties, says us.

I am reminded of the movie GATTACA, where science creates a superhuman race through genetic births, leaving anyone conceived the normal way left cleaning toilets. Is that really what Generation Y wants to be remembered for – the generation that divided the workplace into the over privileged vs. the underprivileged? The generation that killed off the middle-class worker?

While we’re on the subject, let’s talk then about money: how many of us are actually saving, or even (gasp) investing? Most of the Gen Y’ers I know are living paycheck to paycheck, and their higher salaries are going toward their rent and student loans. Oh, and the 54″ inch HDTV they had to own. And shopping trips for clothes and furniture they didn’t need.

If 30 is the new 20, retirements really are dead, as Ryan Healy says. Because we’re going to be so far behind in saving for a traditional retirement, and so focused on instant gratification, that we won’t be able to afford it. A conscious choice we are making, or the consequence of our “me now” upbringing? To me, a three month vacation now sounds like a sad consolation to having to work the rest of my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a member of Generation Y. I want to believe we actually are special and can bring about the change we idealistically cling to. But right now I have more questions than answers, and I have to wonder if all the generational talk is making us forget what’s important – that every generation has contributed to where we are at now. That we all need to figure out where we belong in this new workplace we’ve been inching towards for the past 30 years.

And above all, Generation Y needs to consider the change we are actually creating, because, in the end, we’re the ones who will have to live with our choices.

Need a Job? Forget About Building a Network Now

By Monica O'Brien | May 18th in Careers

16 comments

Image Source: notsogoodphotography via FlickR

It’s job hunting season – but if you are looking for a job, the last thing you should be doing is building a network. Counterintuitive, perhaps, but here are three reasons why:

It’s Too Late

Building a network is a lot like planning your retirement; it takes a lot of little inputs over a long period of time. Both are built so you can cash in when you need it the most – at retirement, or in this case, when you need a job (or some other huge favor).

But if you need a job now and you haven’t been building your network, you are screwed. You may as well try opening your 401k at 50 – the math just doesn’t add up. And just like you won’t get by for 20 years on $100,000, you won’t land a great gig on a network held together by shoestrings.

So stop trying to build your network in hopes you will get a job from it. It’s too late. Instead, work on your charm and get a job that way. Then work on building your network in case your charm runs out and you need a job again.

The Law of Diminishing Returns Doesn’t Lie

Here’s what it takes to build a network: Emails. Lunch dates. Networking events. Social gatherings.

All of these take time. In fact, each thing on this list takes the same amount of time the first time you do it and the twentieth time you do it. So when you build a network, you are giving the same amount of time to each network connection. After a certain number of people, though, you start building very weak ties that aren’t going to help you in the end – when you need a job.

This is the law of diminishing returns. Same amount of input for each person, less results as you spread yourself too thin.

So consider first, how many people you can actually fit in your network. A strong connection is worth much more than ten weak ties – put your time where it matters, preferably before you need a job. Then when you need a job, use the strong connections you’ve built to get one, instead of wasting your energy on creating more weak ties.

You Already Know the Right People Anyway

Here’s the thing about getting a job: no matter how much you need a job to pay the bills, you should still try to get the best match that you can for your personality. Not only will you perform better, but you will also stay longer, which means less job hunting. Finding a job that matches your personality comes down to finding the types of people you should be working with.

It turns out you already have plenty of good network connections to find a group of people you will work well with. Like your ex-boyfriend you still talk to sometimes. Because really, good dating skills = good working skills, and people are drawn to others like them. So if you know someone you thought was a good date, he probably works with other people you will like too. Or if you have a friend you meet up with for lunch regularly, she might be able to score you an interview with her manager pal in another department.

In the end, your friends will get you a job, not your “network,” because your friends will connect you with people they like, who are probably like them. And you like your friends, right?

How would you use your network to get a job? Leave your thoughts in the comments section!

10 Steps to Becoming a More Interesting Blogger

By Monica O'Brien | May 8th in Blogging

21 comments

People complain about bloggers a lot, mostly that they are diluting journalistic integrity with their non-experience. But those complaints don’t matter in the end, because blogging isn’t about journalism or credentials. Blogging is about being interesting, and all of your favorite bloggers, who you read every day, know that. Here are 10 tips on how you can become a favorite blogger yourself:

Talk About Yourself

This one should be so obvious, and I almost didn’t write about it. I don’t want people to start reading this list and think, “Oh, talk about yourself, the rest of this advice is going to be lame also,” and then jump.

But unfortunately, it’s not obvious, and I think it’s because people think they’ll be perceived as narcissistic, or whiny, if they write about themselves. And to some, you will be perceived that way – but most people love gossip and desperately want insight into what makes a person tick. So jeez, just give it to them already!

Not convinced? One of the guest posters on Problogger wrote about why readers subscribe, and six out of the seven reasons are about you, with the first reason being “They want to be you.” You, you, you, you, you, you. So get in the mindset that this is a popularity contest, and the people who get heard are the prom queens of the blogosphere. Then go claim your crown.

Figure Out Why People are Boring, or Otherwise Unlikeable

You’ve met people that you hate talking to. And guess what? They are the same people that everyone else hates talking to. They are Debbie Downer, Negative Nancy, and the rest of their boring, shallow, vain friends. So here’s an exercise which unfortunately will force you to return to these conversations once more, if you can remember them (apologies in advance).

What exactly makes you dislike conversations with those people? What about them makes you roll your eyes, or drift into daydreams? What things do they say that annoy you? What topics do they bring up that irritate you?

Now make sure nothing you write falls into those categories. You can’t write about something interesting if you don’t know what to avoid first.

Pick a New How-To, or at Least Put a Spin on an Old One

I read a lot of career and financial advice, but for many articles I rarely do much but skim the headlines before moving on. That’s because everyone writes about the same topics, over and over again. How to Save Money. How to Dress For an Interview. How to Pay Off Your Student Debts. How to Nail Your Performance Review.

I like how-tos, I write how-tos, and I don’t mean to criticize people who write how-tos. But the majority of how-tos rehash other people’s advice and rarely inject personality.

Here is when recycling old topics works: you create comprehensive, long lists that people can bookmark, or you approach the problem with a unique way of thinking, or you inject your own experiences as the basis of your advice.

Otherwise, it doesn’t work. So stop doing it.

Write About the News, or Events in Your Life

Here’s a way to guarantee you aren’t writing about something that has been done a thousand times – offer your opinion and insight on current events. But do it quickly, because if too many others beat you to the punchline, your voice will get lost in a sea of rehashers.

Unless you are an internet addict and can respond quickly to stories as they happen, it might be easier to write about events in your own life. So do that instead, and give advice by telling your story.

Make Yourself a Minority

Majorities are the masses, but minorities are interesting; and luckily, everyone can be a minority. Here is something people think makes them interesting: “I played soccer in high school.” Too vague though. “I was varsity soccer captain as a sophomore and we went on to win three state championships” is more interesting.

But let’s face it: we are all young, educated, cream-of-the-crop professionals. Everyone has the equivalent of Mr. Soccer Star on their resumes, so if you really want to be interesting, dig deeper. Like I’m a female blogger who is young, with a technical degree, who doesn’t write about technology or anything remotely related to my industry. People think that’s pretty random, and I agree.

What about you is completely off the wall? Write about that!

Be Controversial

I don’t write things to be controversial on purpose, but I honestly love when people don’t agree with me, for the mere fact that it makes the conversation interesting. Blogs are not newspapers or magazines or books – and the people who are boring bloggers are the ones who use blogs to publish traditional media online. But blogs are a platform for opinions (not facts or information); and if you don’t have an opinion there’s very little point to having a blog that people subscribe to.

State your opinion, back it up, and make sure lots of people can disagree with you. Boring is people nodding their heads in unison, like cows chewing on the same patches of grass. Interesting is being controversial.

Stop Pretending You’re So Happy

I spent a good portion of March reading happiness theory and research because I was going to write a post about it. Then I realized that most of my favorite posts have nothing to do with happiness. In fact, my best posts are my sad or angry ones.

Let’s face it, happy people are boring. None of us are happy all the time, so none of us have to be boring; we just choose to be because we want to pretend we are always happy, which everyone sees through immediately anyway.

So from now on, when someone asks you “How’s it going?” don’t respond with “Good.” Say “I shot a gun this weekend, and I think guns are evil. But here’s what I learned…”

And when you write a blog post, don’t say “I’m awesome… again. And here’s some advice on how you can be as awesome as me.” Because frankly, I’m bored with reading posts like this, and I bet your readers are too.

Share Your Vulnerabilities

I received feedback from a friend about my last post, and she basically said that although she admired the things I was doing, the post really demonstrated the downside of my lifestyle.

And you know what? I’m okay with that. Because I’m not perfect, and to let people think I have this great, successful life would be a lie.

So now when I give advice, people may actually listen, because it’s honest. And if something horrible happens to me, people might actually care, because they are emotionally invested. And even though it scared me to write that post, it gave others strength to share their own fears.

Be Tyra Banks -risk it all and make an ugly face at the camera. It might end up being your best shot in the film roll.

Articulate Your Dreams

Readers need a reason to cheer you on, but they can’t find that if you don’t tell them what you actually care about achieving. Share your goals, dreams, passions, and wish lists regularly. Update readers with your progress, or reversion. Ask for help when you need it, and help others with their dreams too!

Blogging is about interacting in a community, and communities don’t survive without people who have an interest in each others lives, and are willing to do a little bartering.

Talk About the Hard Stuff

We love to avoid sensitive topics in our daily lives, for good reason. Racism, sexism, rape, politics, abortion, mental illness… none of this stuff is off limits in the blogosphere though. And you don’t have to regularly write about sensitive topics to write about the hard stuff.

In fact, one of my favorite honest posts about a hard topic is on a TV fan site. I’m not even going to tell you what it’s about because I really want you to click and read it. What I love about Kelly’s blog is time and time again she makes a seemingly shallow, dramatic show mean something beyond gossiping and entertainment by weaving her own experiences into it. And that’s interesting.

You can call these tips narcissistic, or you can try a few and get more readers. Good luck, and if you have any other tips feel free to leave them in the comments section!

I May Never Be a Mother. And That's Okay.

By Monica O'Brien | May 5th in Careers

42 comments

Image Source: sweetimaginations via FlickR

Ever since I started at Brazen Careerist I’ve been obsessed with my MBTI type. Mostly because I couldn’t decide what I was – so I began researching each letter until I was sure.

Now I’ve come to the conclusion. I’m an INTP, which is the least common personality type. Something like 1% of the population has it. Here’s where you find INTP’s: teaching at colleges. Researching. Making theoretical discoveries. They are the “absent-minded professors,” in their own worlds. Disconnected from relationships, preferring to figure things out on their own. And the successful INTP’s are mostly men, which seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life.

In other words, my personality type is the exact opposite personality of someone who society thinks would make a good wife and mother. No kidding. ESFJ is actually nicknamed the “housewife” personality type.

Here is what worries me about my personality type: I feel like I’ve caught this anti-wife, anti-mom disease. And naturally, I want to be a good wife and good mom, because society tells me I should.

So the first thing I did after discovering all this was write an article about how you can change your personality type. It never went to publish, because I knew I was wrong. As much as I want to be a mother, I won’t ever be obsessed with my kids, the way my parents were. I won’t ever have the desire to quit my job, or even cut back on my hours.

I’ve always known this about myself, and up until recently here was my plan to make it work: get a puppy. I would get a dog to practice taking care of someone before I had kids, so by the time I actually had kids I would be ready to give up more of myself. But after five days of waking up at 6am to a puppy licking my face, I’m even reconsidering that.

Maybe that’s the thing. Maybe I don’t want to be a mother. Maybe I’ve been told my entire life that women get married, have kids, and clean their houses, and I’ve just assumed that’s the only acceptable path. Maybe it’s not, and I resent society for that stereotype, because I’ll never, ever fit it. Damn society.

Here’s my new plan for having kids: make my husband stay at home, or get a nanny if he doesn’t want to. Or not have kids, because the first two solutions make me feel very guilty (another side effect of societal views). Penelope wrote about stay-at-home-dads recently, and everyone, including me, hated it. Then I realized the reason I hated it is because it was about a guy cheating on his wife who provided all the money for him and their family. If the post was about a woman cheating on a man, I would say she was bored and taken for granted. Totally justifiable. But a guy cheating on his working wife makes my blood boil; because deep down I don’t respect a guy who does not financially provide for his family, then proverbially slaps his wife in the face by cheating on her.

Before you start hating me, know that these views make sense, given my personality type. But that doesn’t mean I’m not trying, and my biggest revelation is that as angry as I am about wife/mother stereotypes, I am not immune to prescribing to gender stereotypes either. So the only way I can ever have kids is to redefine what motherhood means to me and see if I can make it work with my personality. But that starts with me learning to truly respect a man who is willing to stay home with the kids.

How To Get By With No Health Insurance

By Monica O'Brien | April 28th in Entrepreneurship

27 comments

Image Source: simon_duhamel via FlickR

Part of personal development is figuring out what you want to do and pursuing that path; but the problem with doing what you want is you sometimes make less money or work for a smaller company that doesn’t cover an important aspect of your life – your health. No health insurance is not such a big problem for routine check-ups; it’s a bigger problem for accidents and emergencies. Here are some tips to get by with no health insurance in any situation:

Use it While You Have It

If you are graduating or changing jobs soon, schedule dentist, eye, and general exams before your health insurance runs out. This will keep you up-to-date for roughly a year before you need these examinations again.

Opt For More Affordable Care

Alright, so it’s too late to schedule appointments before your health insurance runs out. You can still get your teeth cleaned and your eyes examined for free or for a fraction of the cost through local professional schools. In some cases, like for pap smears, you can actually get paid to play patient for a student exam. Look for optometry, dentistry, nursing, or medical schools in your area. Many schools are found in large cities, so consider traveling for a broader range of services.

Want to know how to get the best student doctors? Meet them at bars, restaurants, or other social events. I’ve heard from many professors that the students who have the best grades struggle through the lab practicals, and the students who make the best doctors are the ones with decent grades and strong social skills. This is because most of what students learn in professional schools is completely inapplicable to patient care in the real world, and the students with mediocre grades are the ones who spend more time practicing relevant skills.

Learn About Alternatives

There are many ways to get insurance aside from going through your employer, which means that when you don’t have an employer you can still get insurance. Here are some places to look:

  • Part-time education - some schools offer affordable insurance for part-time students, so if you’ve been thinking about a degree, maybe now is the time
  • Part-time jobs - some companies, like Starbucks, offer insurance to their part-time workers. This could be an option for a freelancer or start-up entrepreneur, since many will want to work part-time anyway as they are building their businesses
  • Individual insurance - Paul Pilzer wrote a book a few years ago called The New Health Insurance Solution: How to Get Cheaper, Better Coverage Without a Traditional Employer Plan, which explains how private individual insurance plans can be cheaper than employer plans if you and your family are healthy. Paul is an economist who has served as an adviser for two US presidents and I love his book and him because he advocates for a free market on health insurance plans

Minimize Health Risks By Transferring Liability

Health insurance covers you in accidents when you mess up, so to minimize your risk you can either stop messing up or delegate the tasks you are likely to mess up at. As much as we’d all like to do better, the latter is a better option for most people.

The best example I can give of this is driving a car versus taking public transportation. If you end up in an accident while driving your car and it is your fault, you have to pay for your own hospital bills. If you are taking a bus and the driver gets in an accident that is his fault, the bus company is liable for any injuries you sustain.

Another example is food preparation. If you cook meat at home and get food poisoning from it, you foot the hospital bills, but if you eat out at a restaurant and get sick, you can probably sue the restaurant.

So I’m not advocating for everyone to take public transportation, eat out at restaurants, and sue businesses. But the reason you get health insurance is to mitigate risk; so not having health insurance means you have to take personal responsibility for minimizing your risks, and that means getting creative. Look for ways you can put yourself under someone else’s insurance as much as possible.

If You Must Take a Risk, Make it Life-Threatening

The strategy outlined above doesn’t work if the business makes you sign away your life in the event of an accident on their part; so if you are going to do something that risks your health, make sure there are only two likely outcomes – you come away with no serious injuries or you die. That way you don’t have to pay medical bills if you get injured; you’ll just be dead instead.

A great risk to take when you don’t have health insurance is sky diving. The chance of a serious injury is .06%, and the other outcomes are no injury, minor injury that can be fixed with a first aid kit, or death. So to celebrate your journey into no health insurance land, plan a skydiving trip.

If you have any other tips, please leave a comment!