Happiness

Image Source: pigotta08 via FlickR

Over the past few months I’ve been trying to figure out why I’ve mostly stopped writing in my blog. It’s become apparent to me that not writing is a reflection of how lost I am, at least in this aspect of my life. So I’m sharing the answers I’ve come up with, because the lessons I’m learning are much broader and could be applied to other people in other situations.

I’ve Turned a Hobby into a Job

The old cliché is that you should find what you love and then try to make money off of it. I definitely bought into this when I first entered the working world, but the more experience I gain, the more I take a different point of view.

The problem is the thing you love to do will start out as a hobby. Once you begin making money from your hobby, it will become more and more like a job until you quit your actual job. This is everyone’s dream – but what they don’t realize is that before they had a job and a hobby and now they just have a job.

My blog is a big part of my job these days – not just the writing part, but the commenting, emailing, speaking, and reading that goes along with it. It’s no surprise that when I want to unwind, one of the last places I look is my blog. Instead, I’ve gone back to my old hobby – singing, jamming out, and writing poetry that later gets set to the music in my head.

Maybe you have turned a hobby into a job unknowingly. It happens to the best of us, and it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the things you used to – but it does mean you need a new hobby.

I Need a New Outlet for Expression

In the early days of my blog I got most of my material from the people I was around all the time. For example, my husband. Or my coworkers. As some of my articles were a little unflattering, it was nice that none of these people are a part of the blogosphere.

Now, as you know, everyone I work with has a blog, and is likely to read my blog on occasion. So when I get in a fight with one of them the only material that comes to mind is stuff like “12 Reasons Why I Can’t Stand My Coworkers” or “It is So Lame that the People I Work with Can’t Remember I’m a Vegetarian and invited me to a Brazilian Steakhouse for Lunch.” (I made those up by the way .)

My blog used to be an outlet for me to express myself when I was angry with the way the world worked. Now that I have the ability to potentially hurt people and their reputations, I’ve made the conscious choice to pick a different, less public outlet.

And maybe you need a new outlet too. Dealing with your emotions is not hard; dealing with them appropriately is. But it’s worth it to try your best to deal with them appropriately; and in the end, you will feel much better having done the right thing.

My Audience is Overwhelming

My blog subscriber count is by no means huge, but I have a large enough readership to where I think thrice before publishing these days, and get a second opinion from BC’s resident editor.

As a creative person, I’ve noticed that my work suffers most when it stops being about me and starts becoming about what people expect from me. Like anyone in a creative industry, I want people to pay attention to my work – until the pressure from the masses starts to dictate my work.

Maybe you need a break from what everyone wants you to do, so you can figure out what you want to do. The Mona Lisa wasn’t painted by committee, and Sophocles didn’t call a vote when he decided Oedipus would marry his own mother. Sometimes the best work is done outside of teams. It’s scary to make all the creative decisions by yourself, but if you stop valuing your work by what others think of it then you have a better chance of creating something truly unique, innovative, and special.

I’m Tired, and Focused Elsewhere

When I first started my blog, I sacrificed so much to get to the top – sleep, friends, work, family, and time with my husband. I wrote 4-5 times a week and did lots of guest posting, and I was relentless in the fight for attention throughout the blogosphere.

But now I’m at the top (of the smaller Gen Y niche). I’ve arrived. And from here on out the journey of this blog in its present form sounds a lot like a decrescendo, winding down, fading away slowly until it reaches dead, crisp silence. The high notes have passed, but the song didn’t end. Quite frankly, my husband and new puppy seem far more interesting than my blog tune these days.

Maybe you are burnt out in your quest to achieve something. Research shows that a person only has so much energy and willpower to focus – in order to more adequately focus on one portion of your life; you must take focus away from another portion. Maybe smooth sailing in some areas of your life is good enough for now, because maybe your relationships with others and/or yourself are tanking and need more of your time and energy.

It’s not that you can’t have multiple goals concurrently, but rather that you can’t give 100% to every portion of your life at every moment. At this point, my blog is surviving just fine, even with less attention from me than before. Try maintaining the status quo for awhile. You’ll be surprised how well things run without you.

I Don’t Know Where I’m Going

I’ve received advice before that just before you hit a big goal, you should set a new one in order to keep from stagnating. My biggest (and at the time, wildly unachievable) goal when I started my blog was to make a career change. 4.5 months later, I was there – but it happened so fast, I forgot to set the next goal for my blog.

Now, my blog is stagnating. I have known this for months, yet I still struggle with where my blog should go next. What I’m finding is that my blog may have already served its purpose for now, until the next big thing I need to do comes along. All that’s left is accepting and allowing this to be true without guilt.

Don’t feel like you have to continue doing something just because you’ve been doing it. It’s a silly way to live, when you think about it, because then you never have an opportunity to try something new without adding to your workload. Maybe you need to take a break from what you are currently doing, especially if it isn’t working anymore. Take a detour. A balanced life is one in which every time you add something you take away something else; and I’m certainly not going to feel guilty about living a balanced life.