Negativity

Energy is an interesting concept. It make us move, do, and accomplish. The problem is there are different kinds of energy, and the type of energy you get will dictate the type of work you get done with it.

Consider this: Someone writes an opinionated post. It gets 60 comments, but over half the people hated it. Was the post successful?

The post may have moved people to do (in this case add a comment) but in the end, No, the post was not successful (unless your idea of success is pissing people off). Not because people didn’t like the post – if they didn’t like it they wouldn’t respond. People hated what was written because the post gives off negative energy.

You could argue the audience is negative, but how do you attract a negative audience? By being negative. And that’s the crux of energy: negative energy breeds more negative energy, while positive breeds more positive.

Here are some simple ways to test whether you are giving off negative energy:

Are you sharing an opinion or attacking someone not like you?

I see this the most when I tell people I’m married, and lately when I tell people I’m getting an MBA in entrepreneurship.

But let’s stick to marriage: It’s fine if you want to be single and think getting married when you are young is a bad idea. What I don’t understand is why I can link to so many articles like these.

Have your opinion, but let people make their own choices – what’s right for you isn’t right for them and vice-versa.

Do you focus on the things you hate?

I’m a firm believer that we move towards the things we think about. There’s a girl I know whose entire MySpace page is dominated by her pet peeves – she has about 30 of them. Thirty negative thoughts! I wonder how much time she spent creating that list - how much energy she wasted thinking of all the things that piss her off.

Focus on things you like. Focus on what you like about people. Leave the ranting and raving in a notebook on your nightstand, and make sure the notebook burns nicely.

Do you exclude others?

Extreme example: One of my friends got engaged in college (after me), and the next day a group of our friends threw a “Not Engaged” party. Invitation reads: “We’re having a party for all of those people who aren’t engaged. Everyone is welcome… unless you’re engaged.”

Surprisingly, they weren’t trying to be mean; rather just trying to establish a bond with other people like them. That’s a completely normal need, but be careful how you do it – it should never be at the expense of someone else.

Nobody is perfect and we all have bad days. Furthermore, growing and maturing is a slow process and most of us will never get to the point where we don’t give off negative energy in some way. Wouldn’t it be nice though, if we all made an effort to give off positive energy instead?

What other ways do people give off negative energy?