But two guys have sent me chat messages saying basically the same thing as you. And before I wrote this I surveyed some guys at work who have girlfriends/fiances/wives in med school/dental school, who commented they really wanted their wives to eventually learn how to cook well.

Furthermore, the guys said they were the ones who cook more often, and they learned it from their mothers. So while they enjoyed cooking, they still wanted the cooking to be split at least evenly, and move more onto the woman when the couple has kids. I drew my own conclusion that men have mothers who took care of them this way, and want the same of their wives and for their children. And there is actually research on mother/son father/daughter relationships and how they affect who you marry, so I think it’s a pretty good conclusion.

I understand why my husband picked cooking. But it just seems weird that he thinks it’s the most important thing that will help hold our marriage together. I mean, he could have picked more sex too, but he didn’t? Threw me off.

First off, I love your site Monica. As a 23-year old (male) MBA, it’s right up my alley.

I grew up in an entrepreneurial household where my Dad was always out running the business and my Mom was always home running the books. They have made a great team. I generally have no qualms with my (future) wife working towards her career goals, but at the same time I grew up with my Mom always being at home. So I can understand why your husband made that request.